For The Second Time
by Julie Ann Pope
Summary: My NaNoWriMo fic from 2011. A Maria-centric story as she struggles to move on after leaving Sarah Jane, aliens and England behind for a new life in Washington DC...until a figure in a great coat offers her the opportunity of a lifetime.
1. Chapter 1

Gripping a tepid mug of tea between his palms, a man mused how Washington DC was now a world away from all he'd known back in London...

Washington DC, February 2009

Alan Jackson had earned a long overdue promotion from GlobalTec and with it a one way ticket to their head office in America. His daughter Maria had made the most difficult decision of her young life; to leave everything and more importantly _everyone_ behind to go with him. Maria was an incredibly special girl and not just because she was his only child. She had a very important role to play in the wider universe and he had barely begun to understand just what that involved. It was a massive wrench for her to have left it behind and return to an ordinary life, whatever that meant these days. Alan knew a little of what she was feeling because he felt it himself and he'd only been privy to a small part of it before their move.

There had also been Maria's close friendship with their neighbour (and reason for the Universe related issue) Sarah Jane Smith to factor in. Maria had befriended her son Luke, but not until after their own burgeoning friendship had already been forged. Alan realised that now, having had a chance to look back on the last eighteen months. Sarah Jane Smith was an incredible woman; attractive, worldly and mysterious and a mother figure and a friend at a time when Maria had so desperately needed one. Alan took a sip of his tea; a small reminder of home when everything felt so different and far away. He heard the soft footfalls of his daughter behind him and instinctively knew that she would be carrying two fresh mugs of tea with her. They were so alike and so attuned to each other, it was just like looking at a younger version of himself. Which also meant he anticipated the mistakes that Maria would make as she grew into an adult and how he could do nothing to stop her from making them. He knew he'd made enough of his own and the reasons behind them and couldn't take those key moments away from her, even if it caused her great heartache.

"What are your plans for today?" Alan asked as Maria sat beside him on the patio step.

"I'm going to the mall with Shannon. Her older brother said he'd give us a driving lesson afterwards as well." It was her nonchalant inflection that caught Alan's attention.

"You're 15!" he exclaimed. Although, of all the things Maria had experienced in her young life so far, Alan knew that underage driving lessons would hardly be too much of a worry.

"It won't be on the road, just on their land. They have acres of it!" The cheeky teenager reasoned, but she knew she had her dad wrapped around her little finger anyway.

"I can't exactly stop you can I? Just be careful!" Maria snorted into her tea as she attempted to take a sip.

"After _everything_ we've seen and _done_ and you're worried about a simple driving lesson?!" It reminded Maria of a conversation about skateboarding she had with someone special not so long ago.

"You're my daughter; I worry about you all the time." Alan did and always had done, despite his carefree and relaxed way of dealing with things.

"Aww, my Dad, the big softie!" Maria set her mug down on the patio floor and squeezed herself into his side. Alan savoured the precious father-daughter moment.

They had always shared a close relationship and had never argued. He was lucky that Maria wasn't the sort of girl to push the boundaries but he could see a day when they would disagree over something important. He just hoped they were strong enough to get through it. Shannon's name appeared to be cropping up on a more frequent basis these days. Alan was glad that Maria had finally made a friend her own age out here in Washington. Making friends had never come easy to her, whilst it was true she was very personable and bubbly, Maria was far more mature for her years than most of her peers and they soon tired of her seriousness. Sarah Jane had brought out the best in her and not only had she been taken seriously; she'd been accepted exactly for being herself. He'd seen her confidence climb and the fun creep back into her life. Speaking of their ex-neighbour, Alan realised that he hadn't heard anything from her in a while. In fact, Maria hadn't mentioned anyone from back in London for a long time, besides her mother of course. He wondered whether to mention it or not but looked at Maria smiling at something in the distance as she drank her tea and thought better of it. He stood up from the patio step and leaned over to ruffle his daughter's hair like a good embarrassing dad.

"I've got some work to do. Let me know if you want a lift over to Shannon's later," he offered. He would always offer to help his only daughter, whatever that might involve. At the moment it was a simple lift and it was a task he could easily perform.

"Thanks Dad, you're the best!" Maria grinned up at him and the moment emblazoned itself onto his heart. His smile faltered as he wondered how long he'd still be 'the best' anything in her life.

That evening Maria flopped heavily onto her bed and curled up into a foetal position willing the bitter tears to go away. The overwhelming urge to cry overtook her and she buried her face into the pillow to muffle the sobs. She'd received an invitation to Sarah Jane's wedding in the post, which meant that there was a whole chunk of her friend's life that she had missed out on by being in America. She shouldn't really have been so surprised as they barely kept in touch these days. Maria had emailed everyone frequently in the early days but the replies had got fewer and farther between. Sarah Jane had virtually stopped responding altogether. Whilst Maria realised that both the universe and the journalistic day job didn't keep office hours, she'd thought that she had been important enough to fire off the odd email to make sure she was alright. Perhaps this Peter bloke had been taking up all of her free time lately? Maria felt even more heartbroken at that thought, knowing that she hadn't been good enough, that she was never going to be good enough. Always too young, yet too old at the same time.

It was hard to acknowledge that life in Ealing was moving on without her. She'd been quickly replaced by Rani, both in home and heart it seemed. She had seemed pleasant enough on the video phone, but Maria had instantly felt jealous that she seemed to share an instant connection with Sarah Jane through their love of journalism, something Maria hadn't been quite as enthusiastic about. Rani was taller, slimmer and slightly older than Maria and she'd formed a bond with both the boys too. Did Sarah Jane confide in Rani like she had used to do with her? Did they cuddle up on the sofa watching documentaries or reading books whilst the boys played computer games with Mr Smith? Had Sarah Jane told Rani about Peter Dalton and how she had fallen in love with him? Maria hit the pillow with her fist and swallowed a scream. Her heart was breaking and she couldn't tell anyone about it. She loved her dad and knew that he wouldn't judge her, but she wasn't ready to have that conversation just yet. Maria sat up and roughly wiped the tears from her cheeks. She would refuse the invitation, citing her upcoming exams as an excuse, knowing that they probably wouldn't question it if they were beginning to forget she had existed at all anyway.

It was a shame the invitation had arrived today since Maria had enjoyed a lovely day with her classmate Shannon. The redheaded girl was in several of her classes and didn't appear to be terribly popular. Maria had bonded with her over their love of a good cup of tea at recess and found each other to have been equally as geeky as the other. But Shannon was also fond of shopping and other such girly activities and even though these were things that didn't really appeal to Maria, she thought she ought to make an effort anyway. The free driving lesson had also been worth the effort and Maria knew that as soon as she was old enough she'd put in for her test. It was after all a ticket to freedom and independence from her father and a rite of passage that most teenagers went through. Maria did briefly consider that she would prefer a motorbike, but thought that maybe she would indulge in that aspiration after she'd got her driving license first. Shannon seemed genuinely interested in Maria and asked her all sorts of questions about growing up in England and what sights she'd been to in London. She'd even asked if she could travel with her the next time she went back home. Maria doubted it would be for quite some time the way things currently stood with her old friends, but promised that they would go back together anyway. The redhead had said goodbye with a shy kiss to Maria's cheek, which had made them both blush from embarrassment. Maria hurriedly left before she could really think about what that kiss might have meant.


	2. Chapter 2

Washington DC, May 2009

Maria's sixteenth birthday was a quiet affair. Her mum, Chrissie, had flown out especially to see her but it wasn't like she had once thought it would be. Maria had imagined that Sarah Jane and the gang would have conspired with her dad and had arranged for a surprise visit. She could just imagine they were waiting to jump out at her from their hiding places and yell 'surprise' blowing whistles and setting off party poppers all over the place. But it wasn't to be. She'd received some birthday cards in the post, instantly recognising Sarah Jane's neat handwriting on one and Clyde's cartoon doodles on the back of another envelope. She'd also been sent several Amazon gift certificates via email. But there had been no phone calls or video phone conversations from anyone back in Ealing. Shannon had come over with a present and stayed for lunch and met her friend's mum for the first time. Chrissie had made no secret of the fact that she had disapproved of Sarah Jane and made a point of declaring Shannon a far more suitable friend for her daughter. She had been thrilled to hear about Maria's friendship with Shannon and all the normal teenage activities they got up to, especially shopping!

In an effort to spend time with her daughter Chrissie had suggested that she take both girls to the mall to enjoy an afternoon of shopping and girl talk. Chrissie was in her element having tried on clothes at nearly every single shop that they had come across. At first she had concentrated on finding outfits for herself and left Maria and Shannon to browse at their leisure. After a while she wasn't satisfied with this and was determined to get Maria some new outfits 'jazzing up' her wardrobe in the process. Maria hadn't been particularly interested in shopping anyway and even less so when the emphasis was on her. Shannon had loved the idea and conspired with Chrissie to choose some of the most garish and feminine outfits they could find. Maria pulled the heavy, dull curtain across the metal pole and sighed in relief as she was now blocked out from the world. She let her fake expression drop for a while. It was so frustrating trying to pretend to enjoy something she clearly wasn't. Even Shannon couldn't see how much Maria had hated this trip. Perhaps she had just got really good at covering up how she really felt. Maria turned to the huge mirror at the back of the small cubicle and stared at her own reflection. The sour faced sixteen year old staring back at her didn't feel in any way connected to the person Maria thought she once was. She had known a life of adventure and she'd been useful and instrumental in saving the world more than once. How was this even remotely the same person? The only thing Maria recognised were her eyes, still wide open, willing to look at the truths before her and the wonder that was the universe, but they seemed so sad now, like some sparkle had been taken from them and they seemed dull and lifeless on her pasty, grey face. She willed the tears stinging at her eyes to go away; a changing room in the middle of a trendy teenage clothes shop in the middle of the afternoon was not the most appropriate place to have a break down. She hastily ripped off her clothes in order to try on the ones her mum had picked out for her. Maria hadn't bought many new clothes since arriving in America so she was still getting used to the differences in size and fit. It wasn't so different from back in London where she would try on something in one size in one shop and then the same size in a different shop wouldn't fit at all. It was no less frustrating and as Maria struggled with the too tight tee shirt Chrissie had thrust into her basket it all became too much and she sobbed into the useless garment. Her reflection mocked her, displaying a horrid picture of a not-quite young woman but no longer child in between person. Her body looked frumpy as she'd inherited her mother's curves but hadn't the height to even the flesh out. She seemed stumpy and although she knew she couldn't be called fat, the teenage puppy fat that she had developed hadn't quite yet gone away. How could anyone be interested in someone who looked like her? She was boring and geeky and didn't fit in with anyone else. Some days she wondered why Shannon bothered hanging around, it probably had more to do with her 'Englishness' than anything else. No wonder Chrissie was desperately trying to make her look more feminine and interesting. Maria didn't even bother trying on the rest of the clothes in her basket as they would only depress her further. She calmed herself down and wipes the tear tracks from her cheeks, hoping that her red rimmed eyes would not give her away. She'd endure the rest of this trip to keep her mum happy but she vowed not to go clothes shopping for a very long time afterwards.

Chrissie had ended up with more new clothes in her suitcase than the ones she had originally come with. Maria had helped her to pack, feeling none of the bittersweet sadness that she had been left with in the early days of her parent's divorce. Her mum was never likely to change and Maria had grown used to the fact that she wasn't as perceptive as her father. Alan had a way of seeing right through her, of understanding her motives even though the decision may have been wrong for her. Chrissie was a more superficial sort; a mum who gave hugs and went shopping but didn't have the life experience or general knowledge to give informed advice. Therefore it stunned Maria to have been asked if she had heard from Sarah Jane or Luke recently. The newly minted sixteen year old sat heavily on the guest bed.

"Not really mum. They sent me birthday cards and a voucher, but we haven't spoken properly in months. Did you know Sarah Jane was going to get married? I didn't even know she had a boyfriend until I got the invitation." Chrissie raised her eyebrow in surprise at this development. She hadn't thought the older woman was the marrying kind.

"What happened?" Chrissie was naturally nosy and couldn't resist catching up on a bit of gossip even if it involved someone she wouldn't normally associate herself with.

"Oh, he turned out to be fake and after her money." Maria still couldn't understand how she could lie to her Mother so easily and without feeling any guilt. She couldn't very well explain that Peter was in fact dead but had been resurrected by an alien called the Trickster whose arch enemy appeared to be her former best friend. And that Sarah Jane, Luke, Clyde and Rani had been rescued by another alien; a nine hundred year old Time Lord called the Doctor.

"Oh, that's a shame, but perhaps it's for the best." Maria looked over at her mum in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she was always a bit strange wasn't she? Shannon's a really nice girl, much more suited to you and she's your own age. Sally Ann's probably old enough to be your grandmother. Still, it was a shame the wedding didn't work out for her." Once upon a time Maria would have exploded in anger at her mother's tactless words but since the rift had grown between her old life in London and the new one she had here in Washington with her dad, she hadn't the energy to fight it anymore. It only added to the melancholy she had felt on their earlier shopping trip.

"Maybe you're right mum." Maria leaned in for a hug and knew that everything was slowly falling apart in front of her and her mum had no idea she felt that way.

"See, sometimes mums do know best." Chrissie squeezed her daughter back and felt relieved at this turn of events.

Unbeknownst to Maria, Chrissie knew something of the secret life she had shared with Sarah Jane. It had happened purely by accident six weeks before Alan and Maria had gone to live in America. She had popped over to the house to discuss the move with Alan and had become embroiled in a stand-off against an alien called Kaagh who was a Sontaran soldier. She'd found his 'off' switch by puncturing a hole on the back of his neck. She'd fallen back against a wall and knocked herself out. Or so everyone had thought before she'd begun to stir. Maria had waved some sort of chemical under her nose and she was unconscious once more. Alan and Maria had concocted some story or other about her high heels giving out from under her, but she remembered exactly what had happened. She'd even told Sarah Jane as much as they had waved goodbye to the people they loved. Chrissie had indicated that a fresh start was what Alan and Maria needed as a word of warning to the older woman. It appeared that she had taken heed and left Maria to make a new life for herself away from aliens and danger.


	3. Chapter 3

Washington DC, October 2009

Maria was sixteen and a half when Shannon had finally plucked up the courage to kiss her properly. And she hadn't been surprised by it at all. Something had been steadily building between them for months; probably more like a year all told. She wasn't Sarah Jane and that thought still managed to hurt, but she did seem to like her for who she was, despite being somewhat different to everyone else their age. Maria went along with how things progressed between them, letting Shannon take the lead in where they went together and what they did. But as Maria let the novelty of her first relationship take its course, everything in her life had begun to feel hollow, like there was no real worth in anything she did. Even though she knew not to expect contact from her old friends in London, Maria tortured herself with checking her emails and facebook several times a day, willing things to be different. She made herself so busy that she had an excuse not to eat and her lifestyle became a flurry of activity so she was constantly running to or from one place or another. She gradually lost weight and interest in the things she used to enjoy waned somewhat. At first it was barely noticeable since the presence of Shannon in her life as a girlfriend seemed to distract everyone from noticing that anything else could be wrong.

Maria hadn't made an announcement that she and Shannon were now an item, but anyone who knew them well would have worked it out for themselves fairly easily. She knew she couldn't avoid the conversation with her dad forever and she didn't even want to think about the one she would have to endure with her mum, but there were so many other things on her mind that discussing her sexuality was at the very bottom of the list. She functioned as well as she could; she went to school and spent inordinate amounts of time with Shannon as expected, but her enthusiasm for any of it was half-hearted at best. She had eventually conceded and gradually bought a whole new wardrobe of clothes just to keep up with the amount of weight she had lost. She survived on caffeine and sugary energy drinks, which kept her wide awake until the early hours, giving her plenty of time alone to think about everything that was troubling her in excruciating detail. She replayed her last conversations with her friends in her mind, trying to think of anything she had said or done to make them want to forget about her as soon as she had left the country. Somewhere, deep in the back of her mind, she knew that her dark thoughts were irrational, but something kept them coming. A veil of despair had settled over her entire being and Maria wasn't interested in trying to find a way out. Her depression was almost like a comfort; it meant that her time with Sarah Jane and the others hadn't been a dream, that once upon a time she had been important, to them and to the universe.

Maria briefly wondered whether this is what Sarah Jane had felt when the Doctor left her all those years ago? They'd spoken about it once, just the two of them when Luke had spent the day at Clyde's house for the first time. Sarah Jane had been so open that day and they must have talked for hours. She'd invited Maria to ask her almost anything and everything and she had answered so honestly it must have been painfully raw for her at times. Maria had discovered so much about her friend, so many experiences and feelings that Sarah Jane was never going to explain to Luke or anyone else and Maria had fallen even more impossibly in love with her. They'd laughed and cried and cuddled up together when the need of a comforting touch had become desperate. Maria had seen right through the tall tales and exciting adventures to the loneliness that the older woman had felt her entire life. From that day on, Maria had vowed to never allow Sarah Jane to feel so desperately lonely again and had told her friend as much before Luke had returned for his tea. Maria sobbed into her pillow in her new bedroom in Washington, relieving that glorious day. Didn't Sarah Jane realise that by ignoring her, how much Maria would feel like she did all those years ago? Didn't she think that she would need a friend out here; especially one with whom she had shared so much in a relatively short amount of time? Maria fell asleep wondering what was so wrong with her, why she was no longer good enough or special enough for her old friends.

Maria squeezed herself into the plush booth and watched as Shannon went up to make their order. They had developed a regular Saturday routine of a film and then pizza at the local retail park. This time Maria felt that the film hadn't been particularly good even though Shannon appeared to have enjoyed it. It was one of those inane 'chick flicks' which was why Maria had been surprised that Shannon had enjoyed it as much as she had. Shannon had reasoned that it was simply a couple of hours of mindless entertainment and not every film had to be analysed and picked apart to be appreciated. Maria conceded slightly but still didn't agree that the film had been any good. Shannon came back with two large paper cups that they were required to fill up themselves. Most diners and even restaurants she had been too since moving to America had this endless supply of soda. Maria offered to fill the cups whilst Shannon kept guard over their bags and waited for the food to arrive. It was quite mild weather for October but Maria felt quite warm as she padded out her thinner frame with several layers to stop it from being too noticeable. Shannon was quite slim herself so probably didn't see anything wrong with Maria's new body shape. In fact the redhead seemed quite taken with Maria's body and although they hadn't quite mastered the art of having sex, they'd managed to practice quite a bit. Maria had known she liked women from a very early age; long before her all consuming crush on Sarah Jane that was for sure. She really liked Shannon but everything they did together didn't feel quite as she thought it should. They probably should have stayed just friends. As much as she was absolutely certain she was gay she'd never had the opportunity to be with anyone and explore this part of herself. Shannon seemed to be doing the same. Maria could tell that she wasn't as into Maria as she probably ought to have been and sometimes she wondered just what it was that Shannon was attracted to. It might have been because she was different to the other kids at school, which was a place filled with everyone who was the same. It was extremely difficult to be different there and as Maria already stuck out a mile for being new and English the rest of her differences sat alongside for the ride. Shannon was atypical in many ways, but being gay and into some obscure hobbies did set her apart from her peers. Perhaps she felt a kindred spirit in Maria and that's what held her attention, for the short term at least. Maria came back to their booth to find two steaming pizzas set out for them. She set their drinks down and squeezed herself back into the cosy booth. Shannon continued their idle conversation about the film and asked what Maria wanted to do that evening. It was all very mundane and not for the first time Maria wondered why she couldn't just be happy with what she had instead of wishing that things were different.


	4. Chapter 4

Washington DC, November 2009

Maria came home from school one chilly day to find that Alan had spent the better part of the afternoon cooking a meal for them both. As much as she had liked their takeaway nights and cinema and pizza evenings back in London, her favourite meals had always been home cooked British grub; shepherds pie, casserole, bangers and mash and steak and kidney pie. The smell of home hit her nose as she had walked through the door and for a moment she felt like she had stepped back in time; back to when things had seemed so simple and she was spared the heartache she felt now. The excitement and surprise of it temporarily filled that hollow space she had been carrying around in her heart the last few months. Her dad loved her, so much so that he had gone to an obviously great effort to spend quality time with her. A genuine smile lit up her face for the first time in weeks.

"What's all this?" Maria asked Alan with all the previous wide eyed wonder of her youth.

"Oh this? Just thought we could do with a special evening together; a nice meal, a chat...some wine?" The words were casual, but knowing each other as well as they did, Maria knew there was an ulterior motive to this 'special' evening. Whatever it was she would let it run its natural course; she wasn't in the mood to engage her dad in a 'deep and meaningful' if it wasn't necessary.

"You're definitely a big old softie aren't you Dad? I'll just have a shower and change." Maria kissed her dad on the cheek before running upstairs. She sat on her bed staring absently down at her hands. Whilst on one hand she was excited by the prospect of a cosy evening in with her father, it meant that they would have time to talk to each other properly and the issues she had been running away from would be staring her in the face. The prospect of having to eat a decent sized meal in front of him made her stomach lurch and she'd considered all the ways she could hide it from him whilst she was in the shower. Deep down she knew that he knew, it was inevitable, just like this evening and the conversations they were going to have were inevitable. Maria reached over to her bedside cabinet and pulled out a small photo album from the top drawer. It was yet another reminder of her life back in London, only worse because she saw their smiling, happy faces staring back at her knowing that they were still smiling and happy despite the fact that she was no longer with them.

Alan had decked out the dining table with a new tablecloth and placemat set. He'd set out wine glasses and a carafe of water, as well as an array of condiments like English mustard, salt and pepper. It was just like their old Sunday lunches and Maria could imagine going outside in the garden to play in the pile of fallen autumn leaves afterwards. He pulled out a chair for her like a true gentleman and pushed it back in as she took her seat. Alan served up casserole in a large crockpot, which relieved Maria no end as she could help herself to whatever size portion she felt she could manage. It was a stodgy, starchy meal with suet dumplings floating on top of the meaty gravy covering up the winter vegetables and beef chunks underneath. He took his own seat and poured out a small glass of wine for them both. Strictly speaking it should have been red, but Alan preferred white and he had no idea if Maria had developed a particular taste for it yet. Maria pushed the ladle into the vat of casserole and emptied a single serving into her bowl. She hoped that would be enough to satisfy her dad so that her recent eating habits would remain unspoken about.

"So, how was school?" It was neutral territory and a question that Alan would have naturally asked, special occasion or not.

"Same as usual, mocks start after the Thanksgiving break so we've been given lots of practice papers to go through." Maria had finally begun to relax. School was a subject she could deal with as it was the one area of her life that she'd thrown herself into. She wasn't quite a 'straight A' student, not like Luke had been, but she studied hard and got good results to show for it. She was a grafter by nature and had never been interested in shirking a bit of hard work. It was another of the more obvious differences between her and her peers.

"Do you feel confident? You know that if you needed any help revising I'd be happy to get involved. I don't know how much good I'd be though." Maria chuckled lightly.

"It's alright Dad, you're saved. I think I've just about got it covered." Alan lifted an eyebrow at the Americanism.

"Yes, I suppose you'll be up late and drinking coffee all night with Shannon when the time comes." Maria stopped playing with the casserole in her bowl and looked up at Alan. To be fair, he didn't appear to be accusing her of anything, just observing that naturally they would choose to revise together, like any other pair of best friends. But Maria already knew this evening had been staged for an eventual heart-to-heart. Alan would be disappointed if he had to bring it up himself; he'd always thought himself open and available to his daughter, so she understood that she could talk to him about anything. Maria put down her fork and took a deep breath.

"Just ask me Dad, I know you want to. Ask me and I will tell you the truth." Maria could see the tears that would never fall well in his eyes. It was a pivotal father-daughter moment, one they would both remember for years to come.

"Is Shannon your girlfriend? Are you a lesbian Maria?" There, it had been said, finally. Maria could respond with nothing but honesty. What had she to gain by denying anything now?

"Yes Dad, Shannon is my girlfriend. And I am gay. Please tell me you're alright with this? You're not going to chuck me out or anything?" Those never to be shed tears almost burst forth at the heartbreakingly nervous face of his daughter. Surely she knew that there was nothing on this Earth that would make him turn away from her? That their bond was fused the moment she had been born, never to be broken? Alan reached out across the table and placed his hand over Maria's.

"Of course not sweetheart. I love you with everything I have. You're the only thing that's kept me going since your mum left. I will always love you, no matter who you fall in love with, whatever their gender."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I know you wouldn't have chucked me out, not really. It's just that I've heard so many stories of it happening to other people, you begin to doubt yourself." Alan supposed he could understand her trepidation. There had been a boy in his year at school, Martin James, who had endured a lot of bullying due to his effeminate nature and lanky frame. At the height of the AIDS epidemic, a little before Maria had been born, Alan had occasionally thought about Martin and wondered if he'd come through the eighties okay. Had his parents been there to support him or any of his friends and lovers that had been stricken with the virus?

"What about Shannon's parents? Do they know that you're an item?"

"Not yet, although I suspect it's just a matter of time, especially now that you know." Alan had to admit that he would have been disappointed to learn he wasn't the first to know. However, he had suspected that Maria might have been gay for a couple of years now, ever since...

"Maria, can I ask you a question?"

"Err, yeah, sure."

"How did you feel about Sarah Jane?" The question shot right through to her heart. How could she possibly summarise her feelings for the older woman with words? There was not a single one that was eloquent or descriptive enough to explain how she had made her feel.

"I suppose I had a crush on her." Oh, it was so much more than that and Maria was sure her father knew it, but how could he take a sixteen year old girl's feelings for a sixty year old ex-time traveller seriously? Probably about as seriously as realising that said woman was an actual alien hunting ex-time traveller in the first place. Alan raised an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Okay, perhaps it was a bit more than a crush, but it doesn't matter now anyway." Alan picked up on the dejection in her tone.

"She's moved on and I've been replaced." Maria attempted to make light of it, but in this open forum it was difficult to hide her real feelings on the matter.

"I'm sure that's not quite true. She loved you, I mean as a friend, not..."

"It's alright Dad, I knew what you meant. We haven't spoken properly in months, she never emails anymore and she took on Rani because she wanted to be a journalist just like her."

"Are you sure you just haven't got the wrong end of the stick? That doesn't sound like Sarah Jane."

"I've tried Dad, really I've tried. Out of sight out of mind I guess." There was a pregnant pause in their conversation. Alan steeled himself to have a potentially frank and difficult discussion.

"Is this why you haven't been eating properly?" It had been foolish of Maria to think he hadn't noticed. Her beautiful face scrunched up in abject misery, desperately trying to prevent the flood of tears from bursting forth. Alan rushed around to her side of the dining table and swept her up into a hug. She buried her head in his neck and sobbed until she was spent. The dinner was well and truly forgotten about as Alan led his daughter to the living room sofa and they sat down together in a loose embrace.

"Talk to me Maria; tell me what's been going on."

"I'm sorry Dad, it's not your fault, really it isn't."

"But...?"

"I gave up so much to move here and I thought it would be alright. At first it was but then things started changing back in Ealing without me. Rani moved into our old house and instantly made friends with Luke, Clyde and Sarah Jane. They had their little in-jokes every time we spoke on the video phone and I started to feel a bit left out. Then I got that invitation to Sarah Jane's wedding. It was so out of the blue and unexpected. Sarah Jane had this whole other life without me. Once upon a time I thought that she would have confided in me about something like that. There wasn't even an email or phone call to say she was disappointed I couldn't make it to the wedding. Had she really wanted me there at all? Or had I just been another name on a long list of acquaintances?" Alan was at a loss for what to say. It didn't sound like the Sarah Jane Smith he had known back in Ealing, but then that was more than a year ago and if life had changed for him and Maria, it must also have changed for her.

"But you have Shannon in your life now, doesn't she make you happy?" Maria sniffed and looked up at her father.

"I really like Shannon and I enjoy spending time with her, but she's not Sarah Jane. I wish I didn't think like that but I do. It's not just that though Dad, it's everything here. I miss the excitement of a weekly alien invasion set on taking over the Earth, or helping a lost Star Poet find her way home. Once the universe has shared its secrets with you, you can't ever go back to a normal life. I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore, anything I want to do seems hollow and insignificant compared to the life I had back home." Alan tried not to seem offended at the implication her life with him was also dissatisfying. He was secure in the knowledge that their relationship was a special one, and that she had willingly chosen to move to Washington with him in the first instance. But he couldn't help but think that he wasn't enough for her and was torn between knowing that was the natural order of things and being disappointed all the same.

"I don't know what to say Maria and I haven't the first clue how to fix this."

"It's okay Dad, I know you don't and I wouldn't expect you to. I guess I just need to work through it, time being a great healer and all that." Her false positivity hurt Alan further as he knew she was just trying to make him feel better for failing to provide the answers she needed to feel better about herself.

"Don't take this the wrong way Maria, but do you think you ought to see someone, a professional, to help you start looking after yourself again?" The young woman, for that's what she was now; a far cry from the 13 year old teenager he'd been left in charge of when Chrissie had left them, nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I think I probably do."


	5. Chapter 5

Ealing, October 2008

Sarah Jane Smith sat alone in her attic surrounded by memories and melancholy. She'd spent the last six weeks avoiding this moment but now that Maria Jackson was on a plane bound for Washington she let the sadness envelop her. She supposed she should have been used to it by now, the inevitable fact that people never stayed in her life for long. Whether it was her choice or theirs, it didn't really matter; in the end she was always alone. Sarah had thought that her friendship with Maria was different and that it would be a lasting one. She had likened it to a mother-daughter sort of relationship especially since Maria was the same age as her adopted son Luke. However, Sarah Jane had occasionally seen glimpses of someone who was on the same wavelength, a confidante and an equal. Just before the episode with the Trickster and the memory of Andrea Yates, Sarah had told her young friend that she was the person she trusted the most, and it was true. There was a sense of wisdom and maturity beyond her years about Maria and Sarah Jane was probably the only person in the world that saw it, besides her father of course. The intrepid journalist cum alien investigator watched the photographs change on the laptop beside her. Each one seemed to have captured more than just the scene it portrayed. They prompted memories of how she had felt when they were taken, how she had finally found the family that had always been missing from her life. Maria had accepted and taken on everything that had been thrown at her in the last eighteen months, far quicker than Sarah Jane herself would have done at her age. Although, she wasn't that much older when she had been introduced to the Doctor and she'd coped remarkably well with that steep learning curve.

Luke came up to the attic to see what had been keeping his mother occupied for the afternoon. It was the first time he'd seen her so distracted and morose. He hadn't been around when the Slitheen had taken him away from her several months ago, but he imagined this must have been close to how she'd behaved then.

"Mum?" He called out softly to her as she obviously hadn't heard him come into the attic. She glanced up at him, slightly embarrassed she'd been caught doing nothing but thinking.

"Sorry Luke, did you need something?" The teenager walked over to where she sat on the small steps that stood in front of Mr Smith's console.

"I just wondered if you were okay? You've been up here for hours." He looked over at the slideshow of photographs being displayed on the laptop.

"Do you ever stop missing someone?" Sarah Jane looked again at the laptop herself before gesturing for Luke to sit down beside her. She gathered him into her side.

"No, no you don't Luke. But that's not such a bad thing. If you're missing someone it means that they were very special to you and an important part of your life. One day it will hurt a little less, I promise you." Luke wrapped his arms around his mother's waist returning her comforting hug.

"Do you think she'll ever come back? To London I mean." Sarah Jane kissed the top of his head and sighed deeply.

"I hope so Luke, I hope so." They both sat silently lost in their own thoughts and memories for a while before getting on with the rest of their day; Luke back to his homework and Sarah Jane to an article that was due for submission in a few days.

**Ealing, December 2008**

"Hi Luke!" Maria beamed at her friend over the video phone link.

"Hey Maria!" he said as he sat on the steps in front of Mister Smith, the super computer in Sarah Jane's attic that was currently displaying Maria's image.

"What's going on?" Maria hadn't spoken to her old friends for a couple of weeks and had been looking forward to catching up with them.

"Nothing much, Mum's got the Christmas decorations down and she's sitting in the middle of the living room testing all the bulbs. Clyde and Rani will be over soon to help put up the tree." Maria's face fell a little at that. A part of her felt that she should have been there too and that she was missing out on a big part of their lives.

When Maria had first moved to Bannerman Road it had been January so she'd just missed the chance to spend Christmas with Sarah Jane. By the second Christmas they'd become firm friends and it had been the big family atmosphere Maria had never experienced when she was younger. She was an only child and her mum had been too. Her dad had a brother but he lived somewhere in the midlands and didn't visit. She didn't have any cousins and hadn't any friends from her old school. It had been a lovely holiday, especially as the previous one had been the first without her mum and had been quite difficult to get through. And now this year it was back to just her and her dad.

"That sounds lovely. I wish I was there." Luke looked sympathetically at his friend.

"We wish you were here too. Mum keeps saying it's not the same as last year. What are you doing with your Dad?" Maria disappeared from view for a moment and sat back down with a cup of tea in her hands. She was on the sofa in the living room and had her laptop on the coffee table beside it. The mug must have been sitting on the table somewhere before she had fetched it.

"Just a quiet one with the usual turkey, silly games and vegging out in front of the telly. Nothing special." Maria took a sip of her tea.

"Perhaps you can come back next year? For Christmas I mean." Luke half meant the implication in his words.

"I can't come back and leave Dad on his own, besides it sounds like you'll still have a house full. So, what else has been happening?"

"It's actually been pretty quiet, although Mum's been writing lots of articles recently. She's following up the hospital expose she did a few weeks ago, you know the one she was investigating when Clyde's dad was visiting?" Maria remembered the day well. She and her dad had helped Luke and Rani get to Clyde and save his father from being consumed by the Berserker. She had also managed to find a way of finding Sarah Jane, who had been undercover in a hospital and had her phone switched off. She hadn't even told Luke exactly which hospital it had been. There was an alien element to her original investigation, but once the Travispolon had been dealt with she had noticed strange goings on that weren't alien related. Sarah Jane had ended up writing an expose on hospital standards and the director had handed in his resignation because of it. Maria had been the one to find where Sarah Jane was located and get a message to her to find Luke and Rani and help them deal with Clyde and his dad.

"That's good, she needs to do proper work sometimes I know she enjoys it as much as the alien thing too. How are the A-Levels going? Have you got lots of coursework?" Luke was taking his A-Levels two years before he was supposed to. He had been created by an alien race called the Bane and had been giving the intelligence of several thousand people. However because he had been 'switched on' at apparently thirteen years of age it was as though he had been learning everything from the beginning. He had the intellect but none of the experiences of growing up and he had great difficulty in socialising with his peers.

"It's going well, I have lots of coursework but I'm really enjoying it. Mum and I are going to visit Oxford and Cambridge Universities in February. I'm not really sure about leaving home but I'm not going to think about it until nearer the time." Maria knew that Luke found changes difficult to deal with. Being so young in relative terms he hadn't experienced people moving away or losing someone you loved. Maria had been the first person Luke had ever met and to lose her so early on had turned his world upside down. She had been more than a sister figure to him and more than a friend, he felt silly saying it but she almost felt like a second mother figure, or perhaps an aunt or something.

"That's great news Luke, you'll get into one of those easily, I'm really proud of you. Yeah, it's best not to think about it too much at the moment. But I'm sure you'll get so involved with uni life you'll settle down quickly. It'll be strange for Sarah Jane when you go, having got used to you living there. I'm sure Rani and Clyde will still drop by though so she won't be lonely." Luke sat thoughtful for a few moments.

"I hadn't even thought about that, I feel so selfish. Perhaps I should defer? Or look for a university in London instead?" Maria felt guilty for even mentioning it.

"Oh Luke, don't think like that. You have to do what's best for you, Sarah Jane would want that more than anything. A London uni won't give you the education you really need and it will be good for you to live out and have that experience. You can't stay at home forever. This is what growing up is all about and Sarah Jane more than understands that." Maria sometimes wished she would take her own advice.

"Thanks Maria, I just wish growing up didn't hurt so much." Maria could empathise with that statement more than she could ever explain to Luke.

"I know but there are some wonderful things to come too, just make the most of it and enjoy the ride. Has she got time to talk to me before Clyde and Rani come over?" Luke nodded at his friend.

"Yes, she asked me to come and get her when we were done. Thanks again Maria, we'll talk on Christmas day won't we?" He seemed so earnest and young that Maria's heart went out to him.

"Of course we will Luke, I'll be counting down the days." Luke scurried off to get his Mum and Maria poured herself another mug of tea from the teapot.

Sarah Jane came on screen and Maria watched as she closed the attic door behind her before she came to sit in front of Mister Smith where Luke had just been.

"Maria!" The older woman seemed delighted to see her friend on the screen and her wide smile encouraged one from Maria.

"Sarah Jane! I've missed you!" She hadn't meant to begin with that but she was sure Sarah Jane would understand.

"I've missed you too, how are you? And Alan?" Sarah Jane settled herself more comfortably on the steps and tucked her legs up in to the side of her.

"I'm okay and Dad's fine. He's been working hard, I suppose you have to in a new job, although he really does seem to be enjoying it. He's gone out to a bar with some of the guys from the office a few times. They don't really have pubs over here like they do in London but I'm glad he's socialising a bit, he didn't really do that before."

"Well I suppose he has to make an effort if he wants to make friends. It would be incredibly lonely if he all he had was work. How about you, have you managed to make some friends while you've been over there?" Sarah Jane knew her friend well and already understood that she found it difficult to make friends her own age. She could only imagine how difficult it was so have started a new school a couple of months into the year and in a new country.

"Not really, you know how it is Sarah Jane. They're fascinated by my accent of course and they ask me loads of questions about England and London but I don't really have anything in common with them. They're all so immature and into the charts and reality TV programs. I still don't entirely understand the school system either. That sounds really snobby doesn't it?" Sarah Jane chuckled understanding exactly what Maria had meant.

"Not in the slightest Maria, you're hardly a snob. You're just different and more mature than they are. I'm sure there is someone at school who feels the way you do or at least some of it."

"Oh, well there's Shannon a couple of blocks away from us. She's a bit of a geek and doesn't really have many friends either. We go to an after school club together and she took me to the mall a couple of weeks ago. She's not quite into the same things that I am but she's nice enough. Anyway, Luke tells me you've got the Christmas decorations out? I can't believe it's that time of year again." Sarah Jane grinned like a child, something about having a family to share the festive season with warmed her.

"Yes, although I don't know why I bother to pack the lights away carefully each year, they always end up tangled and half the bulbs don't work. I'd buy new but it seems such a waste. Some of the tinsel and streamers look a bit ropey too but it was my aunt Lavinia's and I'm loathe to throw any of it away."

"Sounds as bad as Mum and Dad's before we moved the first time. We got all new stuff for our first year in Bannerman Road. I didn't think to save any of it, we should have given it to you then you would have a little piece of me with you." Sarah Jane's heart melted.

"Oh Maria, it doesn't matter how many miles there are between us you'll always be with us in some way. It isn't the same though, preparing for Christmas without you. Last year was so incredibly special, I can't believe how much has changed since." Sarah Jane seemed a little wistful and sad and Maria felt a pang of guilt for making the decision to move away in the first place.

"It's not the same here without you either, it's going to be strange just me and my Dad again."

"I know how you feel, when I was little it was just me and Aunt Lavinia. A few of her friends came over for drinks or during the Christmas period but they were all adults I didn't really have any friends either, no one I could invite round to stay or to play with. After my travels with the Doctor I was never really in the same village or town long enough to put down any roots, besides it was better not to make friends and have to leave them behind as soon as I'd made them. I kept in touch with the Brigadier and sort of made friends with his daughter and grandson. There was Harry too, but I've already told you about him. Last year was my first real family Christmas, can you believe that?"

"It had always just been me, Mum and Dad before the divorce and last year so I understand what you must have felt when you were little. I will come back one day Sarah Jane, if nothing else at least spend another Christmas with you all."

"I'd like that very much Maria. Luke's been missing you terribly, he's not used to things changing, although he seems to get on well with Rani."

"Yes, she did seem nice. I'm glad they'd found someone else to share your adventures with, you need another girl to keep the boys in line." They both chuckled and it relieved some of the maudlin conversation.

"She hasn't replaced you Maria, I hope you understand that. You are two very different people and both have a place in this family." Sarah Jane knew Maria wasn't the sort of person to think that, but so many miles away doubt could set in.

"I know that and thank you. It is a little lonely here at the moment but it hasn't been long and I'm sure it will improve with time. I promise I'll call you on Christmas day anyway though. Are you going to get a new outfit for the occasion?" Sarah Jane laughed.

"I think I'll just wear last year's, I don' think I've worn it since then anyway. I don't have many occasions where I could."

"Luke tells me you've been writing lots recently, maybe you'll get an award for one of your articles and then you could wear it for the ceremony."

"I doubt that would ever happen, but it's a nice thought. Yes the universe has been unusually quiet recently, which can only mean something will happen at an inconvenient time. But it has been nice to get back to some journalism. Rani's actually very interesting in following that path too, she's offered to shadow me and I think I might just let her. She's showed real promise and it would be great to help her get as much exposure and experience as possible. I might even consider writing another book sometime too but I might have to wait a while to do that, maybe once Luke goes to university."

"We just talked about that before you came up, he's quite worried about leaving home you know. I told him not to think about it too much at the moment. I'm sure he'll be used to the idea when the time comes."

"The thought had briefly crossed my mind too, but I think you're right, we'll deal with that next year." Sarah Jane turned her head away from the screen and looked to the door.

"I think Luke's calling me, I'll be back in a sec." Maria watched as Sarah Jane got up and left the attic, coming back a few moments later.

"Clyde and Rani are here. They're going to help put up the tree. I promised I'd feed them in return for their help."

"I do hope that you're not going to cook?" Maria deadpanned.

"Oi! I'm sure I've made you some cheese on toast before now?" Maria sniggered.

"Of a sort, once I'd scrapped off the burnt bits it was perfectly edible." They both burst out into laughter.

"Well I suppose you'd better go. It's been lovely to talk to you and catch up, I really do miss you, all of you." Maria could feel the tears welling in her eyes but she was determined that Sarah Jane wasn't going to see her cry.

"I miss you too, we'll speak again at Christmas. Oh and keep an eye on the post, I've sent you something." Sarah Jane grinned and Maria grinned back wishing that she could just reach out and hug her friend tightly.

* * *

Inevitably things didn't go according to plan on Christmas day. Earth had a long standing reputation for attracting all sorts of disasters around that time of year and this year was no exception. Sarah Jane and Luke had been awoken by Mister Smith at four am and sent out into Essex to deal with a flock of migrating pterodactyls causing trouble on the M11. It had taken quite some effort to communicate with them and persuade them that another route would be more suitable and a way of making them less conspicuous. By the time they had made it back to Bannerman Road and done all the required cooking it was late and Clyde and Rani came crashing round. They'd played games with Christmas films playing in the background. Sarah Jane had missed Maria's call and the text that she had sent hadn't appeared to have made it. They finally made contact with each other in the early hours of the morning UK time and Maria had been a little worried about her friends. Clyde had lightened the tone by cracking jokes and being silly and they'd signed off with tears rolling down their faces. It wasn't quite the same as being together, but it had more than made up for it. It was however, the last time Maria and Sarah Jane would speak for a very long time.


	6. Chapter 6

Ealing, June 2009

Sarah Jane was unusually spending the day at home without a deadline or alien invasion in sight. Ealing had never seen so much alien activity over the last few months, which was saying something, and she felt that she could do with a few hours to herself to reflect. Rani had moved in across the road and she'd quickly become a valued member of the team. She had journalistic leanings and Sarah Jane had to admit that she was enjoying her new role as a mentor. Due to a fissure in time she'd finally been able to meet her parents who had died when she was a baby and had a chance to say goodbye that she hadn't had before. It had been a heartbreaking ordeal but she was glad that she'd been able to go through that experience and get some closure on her past. Mrs Wormwood had come back to try and take Luke away from her, but her son had held his own and with a little help from Commander Kaagh Mrs Wormwood was defeated and trapped in a portal for all eternity. Sarah Jane herself had been taken over by the veil Androvax and Clyde and Rani had been grounded by the Judoon. Then there had been the whole mess with Peter Dalton and the wedding that never was. It had been wonderful to see the Doctor again, despite the circumstances and the strange, final way that he had said goodbye to her. She'd been left bereft after Peter's true nature had been uncovered and felt that she'd lost a final chance to be happy. Something was still off about that whole episode, like it hadn't really been her going through it. She wondered if Peter or the Trickster had influenced her actions and decisions to suit their purposes. She was sure that in the cold light of day she wouldn't have been so easily manipulated. In fact, there was no real feeling of heartbreak or loss, just embarrassment and disappointment that she'd failed. Sarah Jane hadn't even had a free weekend since Christmas and at the rate they were going, she wouldn't have one for another six months at least.

She was interrupted from her reverie by the doorbell ringing. Whoever it was they were very lucky she was at home to answer it for once. Sarah Jane got the shock of her life when she opened the door to find Chrissie Jackson standing on the step. Her first thought was that something had happened to Maria and that she'd come to tell her the bad news. But the younger woman had smirked slightly and shook her head.

"No, nothing's happened. I just wanted to see how you were doing, a courtesy call if you like." Chrissie seemed happy enough, so Sarah Jane felt less concerned; however there was something dangerous in her tone that Sarah didn't like the sound of.

"Oh, that's a relief! Please come in, would you like a cup of tea?" Chrissie had already been halfway into the hall anyway and it was only polite to offer her some refreshment.

They sat in the front room with tea and biscuits and Sarah Jane waited for Chrissie to come out with whatever it was she so obviously wanted to say.

"So, have the aliens been keeping you busy recently then?" Ah, Sarah Jane thought, so this was what had been the other woman's agenda, rather than simply stopping by. They'd never spoken about the incident with Kaagh, especially since it was the last time they'd seen each other anyway. But Sarah Jane had thought that Chrissie might have been curious enough to contact her before now. There must be more to it she thought to herself, perhaps she'd told Maria that she knew about aliens and had remembered exactly what had happened that day all those months ago?

"As a matter of fact they have been; it's been very chaotic recently. This is the first day's peace I've had for a long time." It appeared to be the answer that Chrissie had been looking for as she nodded to herself with a faint smile on her lips.

"That would explain why Maria hasn't heard from you in weeks. She's very upset about it you know." Sarah Jane's breath caught in her throat. She knew that contact between them had been sparse recently and sporadic at best when she had been able to send an email or give her a call.

"I didn't think it had been quite that long, but now I come to think about it I really must have a long overdue chat with her and catch up."

"I wouldn't if I were you." Chrissie warned the older woman and that dangerous tone had crept back into her voice, alerting Sarah Jane to the real reason behind her surprise visit.

"Excuse me?" Sarah Jane asked, feigning ignorance.

"You heard me. My daughter is better off where she is without you in her life; without all this alien nonsense and with a friend her own age to hang around with. I always thought it was weird how close the two of you were. She's _my_ daughter, not yours." Sarah took a few moments to steady her breathing and formulate a sensible response.

"I never intended to take her away from anyone, not least of all her parents. We were friends and she just happened to stumble upon my dealings with aliens. In fact I told her to go away and forget about what she had seen right at the very beginning. But you know how stubborn and curious she is. I couldn't stop her from coming back, time after time."

"Well, I would appreciate it if you decided to leave her alone to get on with her new life in Washington. She doesn't need to be upset any further than she already has been." Sarah Jane wondered if something had happened to make Chrissie threaten her in this way.

"Are you sure that Maria's alright? Is something going on that you're not telling me about?" Guilt flared up in her chest as well as worry. If Sarah had just found a little time to speak to Maria herself, she wouldn't have to read between the lines of what Chrissie was saying to her.

"I'm not sure why you're so concerned, you seem to have been keeping yourself busy recently and still borrowing other people's children I see. Could you not have any of your own? Or is there something about you I should be worried about, besides the alien thing of course?"

"I hope you're not insinuating what I think you are?!" Sarah Jane couldn't believe the vile that was coming from her visitor's mouth.

"Well, that Peter bloke didn't hang around for too long did he? Maria told me he was a bit of a con artist but there were aliens involved weren't there? My daughter would never have lied to me before she met you. She's better off where she is to live a normal life, not thinking she's in some weird Star Trek fantasy world."

"Aliens are here Chrissie, they're real and you've seen them with your own eyes. Sometimes they're friendly, sometimes we can deal with the unscrupulous ones but sometimes the threat is very real. Maria knew all of this and still wanted to be a part of it because she cared so much about other people. She's a wonderful young woman and I would never do anything to hurt her intentionally. If you think she needs to leave this part of her behind, to move on and become something else, then I won't stand in her way. I don't want to forget about her and I'd dearly love to keep her as a friend but I don't want to cause her any more hurt or confusion. Is that what you came round to hear?" Sarah deflated and lost her will to fight back. Something deep within her told her that maybe Chrissie was right, maybe Maria _was_ better of without her, to have the chance to live an ordinary life.

"I think our business is done. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I hope I never see you again." If the younger woman could have snarled she would have done.

"The feeling is mutual, believe me." Sarah Jane followed Chrissie into the hallway and opened the front door to show her out.

"I hope Maria finds her happiness." Chrissie looked at the older woman with thinly veiled contempt and snorted derisively before leaving number thirteen Bannerman Road.

It took Sarah Jane a long time to get over that unexpected and shocking visit from Chrissie. It set all sorts of thoughts in motion that she had fleetingly had over the years but put them aside. Her life _was_ dangerous and she was entirely at fault for getting the teenagers involved. They weren't even her own children, not even Luke really, and it wasn't her place to be so influential in their lives. Sometimes she wondered just what sort of a person she had become. She'd once told Maria about her years on the run after being sacked from Planet Three. She'd manipulated her colleague Nat into helping her by providing cover stories, fake credit cards and finding new dwellings. She'd been a young woman at the start of her career and the things they had been through together had given her a new perspective on life, and not necessarily a good one. They'd parted on bad terms and Sarah Jane often wondered how she was getting on. They had worked with a young man called Josh but he had sought her out due to a misinformed belief that she was the head of a cult called the Crimson Chapter. That had ended messily too and a trip to outer space on a rocket called the Dauntless had been fatal for him. Granted, Sarah Jane had less to lose back then, but she still didn't really think about what she was dragging these youngsters into when she went off on a whim or alert from Mister Smith. It was the reason she had been so frosty when she had first moved into Bannerman Road. It was better to be known as a batty old spinster than to have people being curious about her life and getting involved. Unfortunately it hadn't worked in Maria's case and the teenager had forced herself upon her new neighbour. Sarah Jane had to admit that she had been impressed with the youngster's tenacity and persistence. It reminded her of her younger self in many ways but she could also appreciate the girl for the person that she was too. She had really needed a friend, despite not actually wanting one, and Maria had been in a similar position since her parents divorce. She didn't have the sort of relationship with her mum that enabled them to talk and she clearly didn't quite understand Maria in quite the same way. She had never set out to become a surrogate mother figure to her friend, but she could see how it could have happened. Although, Sarah Jane hadn't picked up upon that vibe from Maria herself. She did appear to view and treat Sarah Jane as a friend, on equal terms rather than 'Luke's mum' or just a neighbour.

But now that Maria was in America and free from her influence, Sarah Jane could see where Chrissie was coming from. The youngster didn't need aliens cropping up every five minutes when it was clear she had been finding it difficult enough to settle into her new life already. She didn't need an older friend holding her back and away from people her own age. She didn't need the burden of the secrets of the Universe and how evil it could be sometimes. She had no choice but to continue to let Luke, Clyde and Rani continue to save the Earth with her for the foreseeable future, but Maria had this chance to break free and Sarah Jane was going to allow her to finish her growing up and education without any further interruptions. It was going to break her heart to stop all contact and to never hear of how she was getting on, but for the sake of Maria's future she was prepared to do that. Maybe she would find some way of persuading Luke and Clyde to do the same. Luke could do with the clean break when he went to University and Clyde and Rani appeared to be getting on well enough with each other. In time Maria would find some new friends, perhaps not until she went out to work or a group of people with a hobby that took her interest but she wouldn't be alone forever Maria was such a special and talented person that someone was bound to see that one day.


	7. Chapter 7

Washington DC, June 2011

Maria sat in a quiet booth over looking the busy bar. It was a non-alcoholic bar for over sixteen's. It was yet another thing that annoyed her about America. If she'd been in London she would have been free to get as pissed as she wanted, legally. She was supposed to be meeting a date, but she'd turned up far too early and then received a text saying that the girl wasn't coming. Instead of heading home with her tail between her legs she decided to stay and at least get out of her father's way for a couple of hours. He was entertaining Carly, his girlfriend of about a year. He'd been strangely shy about telling her at first. He'd explained later that it had more to do with Maria's recovery from depression than any nervousness on his part. She had done so well with the counsellor and had been eating properly once again. She still hadn't had any contact with Sarah Jane, but she had been working through her feelings on that subject. Maria and Shannon had split up not long after her heart to heart with Alan. It hadn't really been going anywhere in the first place and Maria had needed to spend time sorting herself out before being able to give herself completely to someone else. They were still friends and occasionally went out for a pizza and to the cinema together. Chrissie still had no idea that their relationship had ever progressed beyond a simple friendship and Maria had fought hard to keep it that way. Alan might have been understanding about it, but her mother was a whole different story. She'd also fought to keep the depression and issues with eating from Chrissie, which had caused a row between father and daughter for the first ever time. Alan hadn't liked hiding something from his ex wife and felt that as he had taken Maria away from England in the first place, he was responsible for keeping her informed about their child's welfare. But Maria had argued her case, that Chrissie would only blame herself and worry more being so far away, plus she was over sixteen and was responsible for her own actions and health. Alan had eventually conceded, but only if Maria agreed to sit down with her mother and explain it to her eventually.

Suddenly a man plonked himself onto the seat opposite and put a colourful cocktail down in front of her. Maria looked up in surprise at the intrusion.

"Maria Jackson." He stated her name in a way that immediately put her on edge. But coupled with the strange American accent and his unusual attire, Maria quickly clued in.

"Jack Harkness," she correctly surmised and he grinned.

"Go on, swoon. You know you want to, everybody does!" Maria raised a disinterested eyebrow at him.

"Oh right, of course. Maybe not." He'd said as he eyed her up and down. As if he could tell by looking, Maria thought incredulously. She then wondered if he'd been doing some homework.

"I presume this isn't a social visit. What do you want from me?" Jack clutched his chest.

"Oh you wound me so!" Maria couldn't help but grin a little, he was charming in a cheeky-chappy sort of way, she supposed.

"I want you." Maria swallowed a cough.

"I thought we had already established..."

"...to work for me."

"At Torchwood? Why? I've just about finished school."

"You have skills I need, you already have relevant experience and you're close to our mutual friend...Sarah Jane Smith."

"I was, once, but not anymore. Anyway, I wouldn't hurt her; you can't use me to get to her if that's what you're after!"

"Calm down, of course I don't want you to do that. But she's never very willing to work with us, and aren't we all supposed to be on the same side? Part of your job might be to negotiate co-operation from time to time, but if you're no longer friends we might need to think again on that one." She contemplated her cocktail for a few moments before looking back at Jack.

"What's in this anyway? Vodka, Schnapps, Retcon?"

"You're far cleverer than I realised Miss Jackson."

"Of course, there's more to me than meets the eye. Right, say I agreed, what happens next?"

"How about you come back with me to the office in Cardiff? You can take a look around, choose a desk and we'll negotiate pay, terms and conditions."

"Cardiff? You didn't say anything about moving!"

"Oh didn't I? Well, Torchwood Three is based in Cardiff Bay and that's where the rift is so naturally I want to re-establish the organisation there. Is that going to be a problem?" Maria didn't need to think how she felt about it for very long at all; however she knew that her dad wasn't going to be as thrilled as she was. He wouldn't stop her, she knew that much, but it would still be a wrench.

"My Dad, he lives over here with me. I can't just leave him, not without explaining it to him first."

"And what were you planning on telling him? That you're going to work for a secret organisation, outside of the government, that deal with aliens and monsters and time travel?"

"As a matter of fact I was actually. You obviously weren't too thorough in your research when you looked me up. He re-programmed Sarah Jane's Xylok computer when it turned against her. He rescued me and Sarah Jane from the Trickster when he pulled us out of time. He helped get us out of a fix with a Sontaran Solider called Kaagh and helped my friends back in Ealing deal with a necklace that turned people into Berserkers. So I think he knows a thing or two about Torchwood and what you do." It wasn't easy to stun Captain Jack Harkness, but this young woman had managed to do just that. He wanted her to work for him more than ever now, even if that meant her dad would need to know.

"You know that if he knows where you work, his life may also be in danger?"

"I don't see that as being much different to how things are now, a bit more likely perhaps. He needs to know, we're so close, we don't have any secrets from each other." Jack seemed to concede on this matter and agreed to meet with Maria in a few days time with her answer. Now all she had to do was have a very difficult conversation with her father.

Maria had driven home in an excited stupor. She couldn't deny how Jack's proposal had made her feel, that finally her life was worth something once again. That her experiences with Sarah Jane and aliens had not been for nought. And she was going back to the UK, not to London or Ealing of course but she wouldn't be thousands of miles away from everything she had once held dear either. She'd have to be apart from her father and he'd be upset to lose her but she thought that in the end he'd want what she felt was best for her. Maria found he was still up when he arrived home, Carly having gone back to her own place only a short while before.

"You didn't have to wait up for me Dad." Maria smiled as she walked through the front door that was being held open for her. Alan had obviously seen the car headlights as she'd pulled up on the driveway.

"I didn't, I was just catching up on some work after Carly went home." They walked through to the living room and Alan went off to the kitchen to make her a cup of tea. Maria kicked off her short heels and relaxed back into the sofa until Alan came back with the very welcome beverage.

"So, when is Carly finally going to move in?" Maria was back to her cheeky, teasing self and for that Alan was eternally grateful. He'd missed seeing that carefree humour she had always possessed. She'd caused him to splutter over his own tea and he couldn't help but chuckle out loud.

"Oi cheeky! We're taking things slowly, there's no need to rush. And what about you? How was your date?" The young woman supposed she had deserved the same in return.

"I got a text saying that she couldn't make it." Maria wondered if now was the right time to bring up her conversation with the infamous Jack Harkness.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You've been out a long time though; did you meet someone else instead?" Maria had no problem discussing her dates with her father; in fact they had seemed to bond over their mutual disasters when she'd first been back on the market. Maria so desperately wanted Alan to be happy, it was Chrissie who had broken up their marriage and though Alan had not been entirely blameless, he had been the one to suffer the greatest in the fallout.

"Dad, I've got something I need to talk to you about." Alan closed the lid of his discarded laptop to indicate he was giving his daughter his undivided attention. It had to be serious by the look on her face.

"I did meet someone in the bar; in fact he deliberately sought me out. What have I told you about Torchwood?" Alan wasn't sure he liked the implication in her question but he vowed to listen to Maria's explanation before he commented in haste.

"That's not like UNIT is it? They're the ones run by the government. Torchwood are the lot that UNIT don't get on with aren't they? They're an independent organisation who deal with aliens, like UNIT but less military and more gung-ho." Alan had had dealings with UNIT before. He'd infiltrated their central computer system to gain access to tracking technology in order to help Luke and Rani find Clyde when his dad had been taken over by a Berserker. He didn't know much about Torchwood other than the very basic overview given to him by Maria when he'd first found out about her involvement with aliens.

"Yeah, that's the basics. Torchwood hit a spot of bother when the 442 came and took over all the Children of Earth. It ended up being disbanded; several of its team members had been killed and the bloke in charge, Jack Harkness, left the Earth to travel the universe again. Only, Jack is back and he wants to rebuild Torchwood. Aliens are still threatening the Earth and there's only so much that UNIT and Sarah Jane can deal with on their own. He's done some homework and he found that I've had a lot of previous experience with aliens and he offered me a job." Maria paused and nervously glanced over at her dad.

"A job...with Torchwood? What exactly will that involve?" Alan really didn't like the sound of this extraordinary offer; he liked the sound of previous employees being killed even less.

"I don't know the specifics yet, Jack's invited me to take a look around the new building and negotiate my contract. I would imagine it wouldn't be too dissimilar to what I was doing with Sarah Jane, just full time and getting paid for it. It might be a little more dangerous, but I'd have firearms training and we'd have access to all sorts of alien technology. Jack's got this wrist strap that helps him time travel _and_ he knew the Doctor." Alan could hold back no longer; firearms training, time travel and danger didn't sound like any job he wanted his daughter to have.

"No way! There is absolutely no way you're going to work for Torchwood! I really don't like the sound of it Maria."

"Dad, it's what I want to do, what I've always wanted to do since moving here. I'd be helping so many other people and they won't even realise it."

"You fell into all of this because we just happened to live over the road from Sarah Jane. The things I've seen and the things you've told me about have been amazing but also very dangerous. Sarah Jane was invested in you because she cared about you so much. By the sounds of it this Jack Harkness won't think twice about sending you into a potentially fatal situation."

"I hope not, because that will be my job. I know it won't be safe, but you can't wrap me up in cotton wool forever. Perhaps I can make Jack do things a little less hastily, a little less violently?"

"This is so much to take in."

"There's a bit more to it I'm afraid. The base is being rebuilt in its original location, in Cardiff.

"Cardiff?! As in Wales, United Kingdom?"

"Yeah."

"And you want to move there? Away from me?"

"I don't want to leave you Dad, not really, but this is something I've got to do. Unless you come back with me? GlobalTec still have their office in London don't they?"

"And what about Carly? I've carved a life for myself out here Maria. I can't just up and leave."

"But I haven't, I've never really been happy or settled here, you know that. It's got nothing to do with you and everything to do with me."

"You're going to do your own thing anyway, I can't stop you. I never have been able to. I think instilling independence in you from a young age has backfired on me! I just want you to be safe, you're my little girl. But you also need to be happy and I can see that it's going to take something like Torchwood to do that."

"Can you answer me one thing? Is it really what you want to do, or are you doing it because of Sarah Jane? Are you trying to prove something to yourself or to her?" Maria thought about her answer for a few moments before answering truthfully.

"You're right, I do feel like I have something to prove, but not to Sarah Jane. I need to do this for myself. It's true that I might not be able to avoid her forever in this job, but I'll deal with that when the time comes. I know that I can give so much more to the world, I've done it before, but this time I can make a real difference." Alan studied his daughter's face, seeing her entire being alight with excitement and purpose once again. He was going to let her go and she was going to thrive, he knew that for certain.

"Alright, you're an adult and you are in charge of your own future. I give you my blessing."

"Aww Dad! You're the best!" Alan hadn't heard that phrase in a long time and he suspected it might be the last. His little girl had grown up and she was about to embark on an adventure all of her own.


	8. Chapter 8

Cardiff, July 2011

Maria and Alan sat on the steps surrounding the Oval Basin. Maria had no idea where the top secret Torchwood Hub was actually situated but she mused that it was probably the whole point of it being a secret base in the first place! They had arranged to meet Jack here at 3pm but had arrived early to take in the sights and have a look around Maria's new stomping ground. Alan couldn't say that he wasn't impressed, the Plas was modern and clean and there were plenty of shops, bars and restaurants to visit. Maria seemed equally in awe; she could easily see her future here and there was something about being here that reached the part of her that had been missing since she'd moved away. Alan could tell that she'd found her calling, her peace and reason for being without even looking at the wonderment in her eyes. Jack stood at the top of the steps behind them; his greatcoat billowed in the slight breeze giving him an air of importance and of danger and excitement. Alan almost felt emasculated in his presence, almost but not quite, this was still the man who had offered Maria the job that would take her away from him, and quite possibly put her in grave danger many times over.

"So you made it then?" Jack called out to his visitors and gestured for them to get up and follow him.

"This place is amazing! Did they just rebuild everything how it was before, or have they made changes?" Maria had heard about the destruction of the old Hub, but she'd never seen it to know how bad the damage had been.

"It's pretty much as it was before, there was a bit of rubble up here but it was the Hub that took the most damage. That's quite a different set up to how we had it originally. We lost a lot of valuable equipment and the vaults have been excavated as well as we could, all things considered. Come, let me show you." Jack glanced at Alan and the older man could have sworn the American had winked at him!

They stood in front of a monument shaped like a shard of glass just in front of the Millennium Centre and got the shock of their lives when they suddenly plummeted into the ground. Maria laughed out loud at the absurdity and sheer delight of it. Alan wasn't quite so sure, but the look on his daughter's face was worth the slight queasy feeling in his stomach. The lift stopped and Maria could see out into the open space of what she surmised was the Hub. It was a bit of a mess to be honest and she was slightly disappointed having thought it would have been as luxurious and modern as the Plaza above them.

"Sorry about the chaos, we're only half finished you see. We don't want the locals to know we're back in business here and try to keep the disruption to services above us to a minimum. You wouldn't believe how many electric cables we need to run this place, not to mention water pipes and air vents and so on. You don't want to hear about all that stuff anyway. I'll show you the main part of the Hub." Jack took them up a flight of stairs to one of the two mezzanine levels and to an area with at least a dozen computers all displaying something different. One was quite obviously set up to record and view the CCTV footage being gathered from all around the Plaza. Another screen was split into several smaller screens and showed news reports from all over the world. There was a fairly bog standard computer which was running some kind of diagnostic and another with a screensaver of a naked fireman in various poses. Maria gave a snort at that one and quickly steered her father's gaze away from it.

"Maria tells me you're in IT and have had quite a bit of experience with extraterrestrial ones at that?" Jack winked at Maria this time and she shook her head, he knew that Alan was off limits but it didn't stop him from trying.

"I've dabbled with the odd Xylok life-form, a robotic dog and broke into UNIT's mainframe, so yeah I've had a bit of experience," Alan deadpanned.

"Good, perhaps you could help me solve a little problem while I take Maria up to my office and have a chat about her new job?" Jack explained what the computer issue was, with no small amount of body contact and flirting as an added bonus and then left him to get on with it.

Jack offered the young woman a seat in his glass office on the upper mezzanine level, a feature that he'd taken from the old Hub layout simply because it suited his needs, and offered her a shot of whiskey, which she refused.

"Do you think I'll need it?" She asked, trying to keep the genuine worry out of her voice. She was loathe to show Jack any sign of nervousness or uncertainty about taking on this job. Jack chuckled and poured her out a measure anyway.

"You will do one day Maria, believe me. Look, I'm not going to beat about the bush; we need to talk about what I expect from you. As you well know, aliens don't stop trying to take over the Earth at 5pm; this is a twenty four hour, seven day a week job. You won't have much time for a social life and no one, apart from your father, must know what you do for a living. We are completely separate from the authorities, so anything that happens I am responsible for you. I can't even guarantee your safety or your life. What I can give you is somewhere to live, wages that will hopefully compensate you nicely for your efforts and all the access you require to the technology and weaponry that I have at my disposal. I'll train you as best I can, but I'm afraid that most of it will be on the job as we're sitting right on top of a rift in time and space. We get more than our fair share of alien visitors, and not many of them are what you would consider friendly. So, what do you say?" Maria sat in stunned silence. It was both exactly what she had been looking for, yet what she was afraid of too. That said; how could she possibly turn down this offer? It was mind blowing!

"When do I start?" She laughed and Jack swept her up into a hug before pulling back and holding her at arms length.

"Are you really sure about this? I haven't exaggerated anything at all, it _will_ be hard and it _will_ be dangerous but I promise you it will be an experience of a lifetime too." Maria thought back to how depressed she had been in Washington and how the excitement was already thrumming in her veins at the thought of coming back to this sort of life. She thought briefly of Sarah Jane and what she'd say about Maria joining Torchwood. But Sarah Jane wasn't here and she hadn't been for a long time. As she'd said to Alan, she would cross that bridge when she came to it. Maria looked right into Jack's eyes and gave him her final answer.

"I'm sure, really sure. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

Alan and Maria spent a couple of days in Cardiff taking in the sights and the opportunity for a well earned break. Alan had been working hard since they'd arrived in Washington and although he enjoyed his job it was mildly pressurised. They took a long walk around the bay and stopped off at a cafe for lunch. They meandered past a marina and Maria looked at the houses with nice cars and boats floating in front of them. It was nice to look at but not something she really desired, she wasn't a person who was interesting in material things. They made it to the Whitewater Rafting Centre and Alan had been the one to persuade her to give it a go. It was fun and exhilarating; she'd never worn a wetsuit before or done anything like it. They'd taken in the castle and wandered through the main town away from the bay. It had been nice to spend some time together, just father and daughter. Alan felt sad that she was going to leave him to come and live here. He knew that his little girl had to grow up and he wasn't so selfish as to be precious over the occasion. He'd just never imagined that there would be a whole ocean between them when it happened. He did sometimes wonder if he had made the right decision to move to America in the first place and felt incredibly guilty at the immensely difficult time Maria had adjusting to life over there. It appeared she had found her calling now and even though it would be thousands of miles away, all he had ever wanted was for her to be happy. He knew that they were close enough to stay in contact on a regular basis and there was nothing that would get in the way of that. He also had Carly in his life and she had been wonderful. She and Maria had got along very well and he was sure that it would be a lasting relationship. He'd made a few friends along the way too and he'd managed to find some blokes that were into the Premiership and English football. They went out and watched a game or two together, perhaps even played old computer games that would be 'past it' according to the next generation.

He wondered if Maria would eventually find someone to settle down with once she moved back to the UK. He hoped so. He really hadn't been that bothered by her being a lesbian, he wasn't so ignorant to think that it meant she would end up a childless spinster and that she could still marry and live with whoever she fell in love with. It wasn't quite what he'd thought the future would hold when he'd held her tiny form in his arms the day she had been born but neither had been chasing aliens with bottles of vinegar or debugging and alien supercomputer. Of course whatever path she decided to take, with or without someone to love or children or even the white picket fence he would respect that it was her own decision and he would always support her with that, whatever may come.


	9. Chapter 9

London, September 2011

Chrissie eagerly awaited Maria's arrival at Stanstead Airport. It was the first time she had come home to visit her and Chrissie was more than a little excited. Maria came out of the luggage area dragging a large flowery suitcase along behind her. Chrissie screeched in her excitement and trotted as fast as she could in her heels to get to her daughter. Before Maria had a chance to say hello her face was being peppered in kisses. Eventually the older woman pulled back to let Maria breathe but still clutched onto her shoulders keeping her in place.

"Hello to you too!" Maria chuckled at her mother's usual overreaction.

"Oh my Maria! I've missed you so much!" Chrissie pulled Maria back into her bosom almost suffocating her in her enthusiasm. Maria eventually managed to pull herself free.

"You saw me on my birthday and that was only a few months ago."

"I know, but this is different, you're here, in London. You never did say how long you were staying? It doesn't matter though the guest room is all made up for you and I've got a key cut so you can come and go as you please." Maria picked up her suitcase and steered Chrissie over to some chairs. She suddenly looked very guilty.

"I need to talk to you about that." Chrissie wasn't sure what to think. On the one hand Maria did have an extraordinarily large suitcase in tow. On the other, her daughter's tone hadn't been particularly light. They took up their seats and Chrissie waited for Maria's explanation with baited breath.

"I've got a job...in Cardiff." Chrissie's eyebrows shot up at this news.

"I don't understand. What job and how?" Maria reached out and took her mother's hand in her own.

"I've been head-hunted for a...well let's just say top secret government project. Unfortunately due to its nature I really can't tell you anymore than that. Only that it's based in Cardiff so I've left Washington and I'm moving back to the UK. In fact I've moved, this is everything I need to get me set up," Maria said as she patted the large suitcase. Chrissie studied Maria closely, there was something off about this, top secret government project. Head-hunted by whom? The cogs were beginning to turn and suddenly it all made sense. She may have been able to get rid of Sarah Jane Smith but Maria had never really left her behind. There had to have been a connection.

"Don't lie to me Maria; you forget that I know you. What's really going on?" Maria feigned ignorance.

"Nothing, why would you think that? Someone saw my school results and thought I would be good at this job. I've wanted to leave Washington for a while now and it seemed like a perfect opportunity." Now Chrissie knew that her daughter was lying, she fidgeted in her seat and fiddled with her right earlobe. She'd always been tuned into her 'tell,' it was the same with Alan when they'd been married.

"When did you start thinking it was alright to lie to my face? This has got something to do with Sarah Jane and aliens hasn't it? I warned her to stay away from you, what did she promise you to make you come back?" Now that the cat was well and truly out of the bag and there was no way Chrissie could take any of it back. Maybe it was just as well she couldn't, this chat had been long overdue, on both sides.

"I think we ought to get out of here and go somewhere more private, don't you Mum?" Maria barely contained her anger. There were too many things Chrissie had revealed that were still resonating in her mind. The implications of it all were huge. Maria guiltily thought about her own secrets; perhaps she ought to give her mother the chance to explain?

* * *

The car journey to Hampstead was silent; both women had been lost in their own thoughts trying to find a way of explaining their actions and finding something redeemable in their intent. Fortunately Ivan was at work, so they had the house to themselves for a few hours. Maria had seen photos but had never visited their marital home. She'd never been to their flat either, the one they'd moved into when Chrissie had first left her and Alan. It was the catalyst to this whole chain of events and Maria couldn't help but feel satisfied that she was now in charge of her own destiny, despite her mother's obvious attempt at interference. Maria had barely walked through the door before unleashing a tirade of accusations at her mother.

"How long have you known about aliens and my involvement with them? And just what in the hell did you say to Sarah Jane? If you've hurt her in any way, I swear that I'll never speak to you again. Is that the reason she stopped contacting me? It was, wasn't it? What, were you jealous? Well you should have been a better mum and not left me and Dad for some slimy salsa teacher! You didn't think did you; you never do! You don't even know me, I've been through hell and back in Washington and you know absolutely nothing about it because all you cared about was me being 'normal' and going shopping with friends my own age. Well I'm not normal, I never have been and I never will be. You can either accept it or leave me alone." Maria collapsed back onto one of the sofas, her chest heaved with the energy used up by her rousing speech. Chrissie didn't understand who this woman was standing in front of her. This wasn't the little girl that had left for a new and exciting life in Washington three years ago. Chrissie burst into tears, too stunned to form any sort of coherent answer in her head. Did Maria really hate her that much? Whilst it was true she had been the one to break up their family and she'd threatened Sarah Jane, she had always had Maria's best interests at heart, hadn't she?

"Maria love, I don't know what to say or where to start. You know that I love you, right?" Chrissie looked at the crestfallen face of her not-so-little girl. Surely she must have known that?

"I don't really know Mum, you say you do but when have you really shown it? Do you even know me? What my favourite food is, my favourite song or sport to play? Do you know who I shared my first kiss with or when my heart got broken for the first time?" Chrissie shook her head sadly.

"No but I want to know, tell me now, tell me all about yourself." Maria shook her head, Chrissie had misunderstood the point she was trying to make.

"The point is Mum; it shouldn't have come to this in the first place. Anyway, that's not important at the moment. What do you know? About aliens I mean." Chrissie sniffed back the tears and took a deep breath.

"Well I know that they're not all little green men if that's what you're asking?" Maria didn't look too happy at the sarcasm.

"The one that looked like a baked potato, the Sontaran? I remembered everything that happened that day. He was going to kill you so I stuck my heel into the vent on the back of his neck. I'd been to see your father and I followed him up to Sarah Jane's attic after you'd phoned him to ask for help. The big computer in the wall showed us all this information about them and it talked to us! It explained about the vent, so I remembered it when Kaag threatened to kill you."

"You remembered all of that? Why didn't you say so at the time?" Maria was incredulous.

"It didn't seem to matter if you were going to America. I figured you wouldn't be involved in that sort of thing anymore." At least Chrissie had hoped that Maria wouldn't have been involved in aliens any longer.

"Weren't you curious about aliens? Didn't you want to know what adventures we'd already had? You must have realised it wasn't our first experience with extraterrestrials?" Maria was getting exasperated with her mum.

"I didn't want to know any more than I did, even that was too much. It's alright for you, you were excited and being in the middle of it all you obviously knew what you were doing. It's frightening for someone like me, I don't like the thought of little green men or potato heads or whatever else coming here. What happens next, they start setting up home here, building weird alien schools and churches and making laws about their equal rights?"

"Yes Mum, that's exactly what happens in the future, so you'd better start getting used to it! I can't believe how prejudiced you're being. Aliens have been coming to Earth for centuries, how do you think we've made so many technological and medical advances in such a short space of time? You're right, not all of them are good, some even want to sell off huge chunks of the Earth for profit, but not all of them are bad either. It's exciting and wonderful and crazy all at the same time." Maria had a difficult job of concealing how excited she still felt about it all. Coming back to the UK and working for Torchwood seemed more and more like she was doing the right thing.

"So this is what you did with Sarah Jane then? No wonder you never wanted to spend any time with me, I'm about as exciting as watching paint dry compared to her!"

"Stop acting like a spoiled child Mum! Sarah Jane took me seriously, made time for me and listened to what I had to say. She trusted me with this huge secret about what she did and sometimes she even trusted me with her life. She treated me like a grown up and opened my world to so many new possibilities. For that alone I owe her so much." Maria paused to think about where she wanted to steer this conversation, her mother's opinions on extraterrestrial life had put her off her train of thought somewhat.

"What did you mean when you said that you'd warned her to stay away from me? What happened between you?"

"Maria, we don't really need to talk about this now do we? Tell me about your new job."

"No Mum, I want to know what you said to her?"

"I was thinking of you Maria, you must believe me. It was just after your sixteenth birthday and I'd seen how well you and Shannon were getting on. You told me that you and Sarah Jane hadn't been in contact much since you'd moved and I thought you seemed very happy that day. When I got home I went round to Sarah Jane's and suggested that maybe not keeping in touch with you was a good thing. It gave you a chance to really forget about all that alien stuff and concentrate on having an ordinary life, with ordinary friends."

"So you threatened her? I can't believe you! You made decisions about my future that you had no right to do so. You messed up my life once before and there you were doing all over again! Thanks a lot Mum, do you have any idea of the hell I've been through these last three years in Washington? Thinking that my best friend never really loved me in the first place? I lost my purpose and direction in life because everything that I had known, everything that had made sense to me, had been taken away." Maria stood up and began pacing the living room animatedly.

"I loved her Mum; really loved her and I thought that she loved me too. Do you know how shattered I was to think that she had abandoned me? I fell into a depression; I stopped eating and taking care of myself. Dad made me go and see a counsellor to sort through my issues and get me well again. Even my relationship with Shannon didn't help make it any better. We split up after only six months together."

"You and Shannon? As in...?"

"A couple, yes. "

"Since when have you been a lesbian?"

"Since always and if you had been paying any attention it wouldn't be so much of a surprise. Look, this is getting us nowhere. There is so much more we have to say to each other and I'm not sure I have the energy. I think I need to be by myself for while." Chrissie reluctantly agreed and handed Maria the spare key.

"Just don't leave yet Maria, I don't want us to part on bad terms."

"I won't, I promise, I just need some space. We will talk more later."

* * *

Maria stood at the end of Bannerman Road, nerves thrumming through her veins and her heart beat wildly in her chest. She wasn't going to knock on the door or say hello, but just standing here, back where she felt she had belonged after so long brought so many conflicting emotions to the surface. The argument with her mother had shaken her and she just needed to be somewhere she felt was safe. What she wouldn't give to be able to speak to Sarah Jane, to sort out this terrible mess they both seem to have made of their friendship. Maria slowly crept closer to number thirteen. She was careful enough to not get too close; she really didn't think it was a good idea to approach her old friends now. She needed more time to think about her mother's revelations and she owed it to herself to settle into her new job and new life in Cardiff with Torchwood. The little green Figaro was sitting on the driveway and Maria's heart skipped several beats as she realised that Sarah Jane was only a few hundred yards away. Maria wondered if Mister Smith would detect her presence or was she as insignificant as any other human being on the street now? Poignant memories came to the forefront of her mind and she stared at the imposing house as though she could see her younger self walking up the driveway in the dead of night, about to witness the event that would change her life forever. The Star Poet had been beautiful, translucent and glowing with tendrils coming from its body that almost had a life of their own. However, the most striking thing of that evening had not been the wondrous alien but the beautiful sight of her new neighbour, casual and relaxed communicating with the alien as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Later on Maria discovered that for Sarah Jane Smith it was natural for her to speak to aliens on a regular basis, as though she had been born to do it. Maria felt that way about her job with Torchwood. She was finally able to be herself and everything she had experienced since moving to this strange road all those years ago had been preparation for it. She wondered if she would ever come back here again, perhaps she and Sarah Jane would not reconcile their differences or perhaps she would be killed in action as was highly probable given Torchwood's chequered past. That thought didn't disturb Maria as much as it ought to she supposed. With dozens of near misses already behind her she suspected that there were hundreds yet to come and there were only so many times she could scrape through before her luck ran out. She almost understood where Chrissie had been coming from when she wanted to protect her from this uncertain underworld. The trouble was that if it wasn't for people like Sarah Jane the entire human race would have been obliterated a hundred times over and then it really was a moot point. Maria would never forgive her mother for what she had done and she suspected that they never would quite recover from this. She also knew that despite this, they never would have the sort of relationship either one of them was hoping for, like the one between her and Alan. Perhaps, in time, they could both come up with something that worked for them.

* * *

Maria pulled up on Chrissie's driveway in her hire car. She needed to get used to driving on British soil, ensuring that she remembered what side of the road to drive on and decided the journey to Cardiff would be as good a place as any to start. Chrissie had been nervously waiting for her to return, wondering if she could repair some of the damage she had done. She still didn't quite understand the full implications of her actions, but the fact that she was feeling guilty was a start. Back in the living room, mirroring their positions of a few hours ago, Maria and Chrissie prepared to clear the air.

"Ivan's gone out for the evening; I thought we should have some time alone." For once Chrissie had used her common sense and tact, and Maria appreciated the thought.

"Thanks. Does he know anything about...?"

"Aliens? Oh my goodness no! He wouldn't have believed me even if I had of told him. You forget that most people still think aliens are something out of a science fiction film. He'd have shipped me out to the funny farm by now." Maria chuckled and sat down closer to her mother and took her hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out about my problems and Shannon this way. I was going to tell you eventually, but I just didn't see any point in doing it whilst I was still in America. You would only have worried and felt guilty and there's no point in doing that from so far away. Of course I didn't realise at the time you were half the reason I was so depressed in the first place." Maria bit her tongue realising that she probably shouldn't have said that, despite it being true. Fortunately Chrissie didn't bite on it and obviously their time apart had given her some thinking time.

"I'm sorry too Maria. I thought it was for the best at the time. I should have been honest about everything I knew from the beginning and I should have given you more credit for wanting to be involved in all of this anyway. But you're still my little girl and I'm still going to worry about you. Torchwood sounds far too dangerous and uncertain, am I going to get a terrible phone call one day saying that something has happened to you?"

"I can't say you won't but we are the people that are going to stop lots of people, hundreds of thousands of them from being killed or worse. Isn't that a worthy reason to do this job? I don't want to waste my life singing on some reality TV program or working a normal nine to five job; having a mortgage and going to the gym three times a week. I need something more than that."

"I think I'm beginning to see that now. Will you tell me about America, what really happened over there?"

"I'm not sure I can at the moment Mum. One day I will, I promise but for now can we just leave things as they are? I think we both need to think about what's happened today. I'm leaving for Cardiff tonight."

"Can't you stay at least one night? We've barely had a chance to spend any time together."

"I can't, not after everything I've learned today. I just need to go and start my new life, try to understand."

"When am I going to see you next?" Chrissie whined, not really understanding at all.

"I don't know, Jack said that we don't really get much time off. Aliens don't stick to a weekday only invasion strategy; we have to be ready at any time."

"Well just make sure it's as soon as you can. We need to talk properly, you can't avoid it forever."

"I'm not avoiding it; I just don't have the energy anymore." Maria finally left Hampstead and her mum. It had been a very long and emotionally exhausting day. She left London more melancholy than when she had left the first time. The emotions and revelations weighed heavily on her mind for the whole journey. She hoped that somehow she and Sarah Jane could find their way to each other, even on a purely business basis. However, as Maria crossed the border from England over to Wales her entire mood lifted and suddenly the hope began to seep back into her thoughts. She relaxed into her seat and thought to herself with a smile, look at me now, anything is possible.


End file.
